Red Violets and Forgetmenots
by ResurreXtion
Summary: [Incomplete, again]The story's a-changing after chapter two, sort of... you'll figure it out, the new story line starts after epilogue: Seifer takes a different approach on cheering up Selphie.
1. Crimson Bracelets

Red Violets and Forget-me-nots: Crimson Bracelets  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own FFVIII, including the characters and everything that belongs to them, but the entire story is mine as is the pathetic- attempt-at-writing poem and in regards to the series, the song, Run Away. It sort of sucked that since after elementary school, a person doesn't get Valentines from everyone anymore. So I wrote this fic, in memory of my late friend Claire, who never got a Valentine from any of her boyfriends (only close friends of course), but was still the greatest person in the world. Here is a short song fic series of my fav couple.  
  
It was an odd sight, red violets and red forget-me-nots.  
  
Red violet and red blue. Who would have ever thought? Too much red. Selphie continued to stare at the flowers in front of her, as if they had committed a heinous crime. Of course they did. They did not tell her who brought them there. She crushed one of the violets and proceeded to crushed a forget-me- not, which spewed some sort of dust out at her.  
  
She opened the card to read its contents. Dried rose petals fell to her feet.  
  
Whenever I look into your eyes There's something I can't describe It's so overwhelming And when we touch I just fly away, but then I never felt so close to anyone like this before It's as if I can read your thoughts And I'm in your dreams I can't seem to make any sense of it I'm just in love with you I want to be with you For the rest of my life It's just little things that you do But I can't get enough of you  
  
Selphie sighed as she continues to stare at the. It had been months since she broke up with Irvine, so it could have been him. Squall, Zell, maybe even Seifer. After all, everyone loved 'the Princess'. Her and dear Instructor. They're both perfect. And she was plain happy Selphie, yeah, right. And Squall was the most outgoing person in the world.  
  
She needed answers, and there just happened to be one place she could go to find those answers. Yup, it just happens to be the boys' dormitories.  
  
"Argh!" the young man stepped back when he saw the brunette's face suddenly materialize in the mirror he was looking at. "Messenger girl! Hyne! What the fuck are you doing in here? Are you trying to make me cut myself?" Selphie looked at him intensely as he continued to shave his three day stubble. Short missions were no fun. At least he had them now. He remembered the first day he came back to the Garden, and everyone surprised him by welcoming him back with open arms, especially Rinoa, who had become a SeeD and Selphie since it just wasn't her if she had kicked him out. With that reason he didn't kill her when she decidedly popped up in his room every now and then. And that is why he didn't kill her as she stared at him, or rather his reflection, but something in her gaze crept him out. "What?"  
  
"Would you do that on purpose?" her supposedly small, cute voice asked. There was something hidden in her tone.  
  
"Do what on purpose?  
  
"Cut yourself with the razor." He looked at her by the mirror.  
  
"Only crazy people do that Messenger girl. Really crazy people that can't do anything with their pathetic lives and can only turn to pain to deal with their problems. It's because they're weak."  
  
"Yeah, weak.."  
  
"See, I wouldn't do it, because I'm not weak. You... well, you're considerably weaker then I am, but still you're not that pathetic to do something that crazy. Besides everyone knows you're always so disgustingly cheery."  
  
"... Do you think ... that I am disgustingly cheery?"  
  
"Well yeah. You're always in some other place. If you're in reality... high on life itself... why are you asking me all these questions anyway?"  
  
"Just wondering is all..." With that she left. *Something's not right. I think I'll follow her... after I finish here.* He finished shaving himself and rinsed off the filmy residue of the shaving cream. After drying his face, he ran out of his dorm to find the spunky, young woman. He was surprised that he didn't have to go far. She was at the entrance of her room. He waited for her to in, sure that she was fine, but he noticed her door remained open. He waited again for a moment to see if she was going to close it. She didn't. He decided to investigate. The room was bright yellow, he thought he was going to be blind. She wasn't in the immediate room. He closed the door behind him, quietly. He figured she was in the bathroom, one of the nicest in the Garden that she shared with Rinoa whose room was adjacent to Selphie's. He heard a soft clink in the bathroom, followed by a soft thump. He went in expecting to find Selphie picking up tweezers or something, but instead he saw a razor covered in blood next to blue bracelets and the limp body of the happiest girl in the Garden.  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
*I would run away yeah, yeah I could run away in this moment *  
  
Blood. Red. That's all that I ever see. Yellow is the only thing that looked good to it next to green, but that reminds me of Ochus and Malboros. Big and ugly. Either that or black... but honestly, black. I was trying to look happy. Black seems to symbolize the dark. It represents my true self. I can't let that happen, now could I? After all I was trying to look happy. I guess it worked. Everyone is probably thinking, poor Selphie. Poor, little girl. She was always so happy. Well I wasn't. I was never happy, and I'm not now. Crimson. Now you see, that is why I wear my bracelets. Those pretty blue bracelets. When you pulled off the bracelets you reveal the mass of scars that were hidden to the world. How good it had felt to have a secret and be released all in one. I hate you Seifer Almasy. I hate the world.  
  
*I would run away from you I could run away run free*  
  
I think that was an so-so start... R/R, flames welcomed as usual, though I never seem to get them... Oh, wells. As soon as I get five reviews at least, I'll post Chappie two... if I ever get to five reviews, *sigh* these reviews are like Valentines... not this year though! Woo-hoo! Make my Valentine's! 


	2. Will the Real Selphie Tilmitt Please Sta...

Red Violets and Forget-me-nots: Will the Real Selphie Tilmitt Please Stand Up  
  
Was I expecting too much when I asked for a flame... sigh, the praise is saddening, but thank you! That's so sweet of ya'll. This Selphie angst is starting to get to me... And yes I still think she is the coolest, thank you very much, and she and Seifer are still the cutest couple, Restrict. I don't care what you think. Anhywho, to the story, Will Selphie die? Why is Seifer helping the 'happiest girl in the Garden'? All this will be revealed in: Will the Real Selphie Tilmitt Please Stand Up (dun dun dun.) Okay time to cut the dramatics and onto this chappie!  
  
*It's not a mystery It's not my misery  
  
But if I could I would turn back time (to run away)*  
  
Seifer Almasy. If there was anything more that I hated besides myself it would be Seifer Almasy. The bully of childhood, the bad guy of SeeDhood, the torturer of my livelihood. I'm sick. Sick of him and how he pretends to be caring now. Even if he isn't pretending, it was his fault to begin with. I'm crazy, I'm pathetic. I'm weak. Pain is my release from pain. It may seem ironic, but... it's true And I hate him. I hate... That's kind of funny. Everyone thinks that I'm happy-go-lucky. I love everything about life. And here I am. Blood falling from my arms to the tiles of the cold floor. I hope... Rin doesn't get too mad that I ruined the tiles. Oh... I think I hit an artery... Seifer...  
  
¤  
  
Selphie Tilmitt. Messenger girl. Blithe. Once upon a time. Now she's on the edge of death, lying on a bed a drip going into her wrists. Her wrists. Bandaged to the point that they became almost thrice their regular size. I frowned, the thought that she was trying to kill herself struck me like a pot over the head. Why? Why would someone that seemed so high on life itself want to destroy all of it by hurting herself? I guess that was the key word, seemed. She is good at making a pretense of her opposite side. It kind of makes me wonder. Who is the real Selphie?  
  
¤  
  
Dr. Kadowaki came in before Seifer had the chance to fall asleep beside Selphie. "You're still here, Seifer," she remarked. He shrugged. "What? You feel guilty don't you?"  
  
"I told her only weak pathetic crazy people do this... who would've thought that is what she thought she was. I hit it right on the mark." The older woman placed a comforting hand on the young man's shoulder.  
  
"Seifer... it wasn't your fault. Okay. If anything doesn't convince you otherwise then so be it. But remember. She would be dead now if you didn't bring her here." He shrugged again so she just left him be. But not before putting something in his hands. "You dropped this when you brought her in. Give it back to her will you?" He looked at the object in his hand. Selphie's bracelets. The blood was caked on it. He stared at it for a moment before pocketing it.  
  
"Don't worry Selph. I'll give it to you when you don't remember that I have them." He looked at he motionless body, which seemed so peaceful. He could imagine the torment and confusion inside. Here he was just like her. On the outside they seemed like such opposite, but take a bit off the surface and you would see identical spirits. Their souls were the same. Both yearned to be free from pain and anguish. She just took a shortcut. "Don't give up." With those words, Selphie stirred awake. The loss of blood evidently took its toll. She was so pale. She seemed so weak. Just like her soul. "Selphie. You'll be fine."  
  
"...you...called me... Selphie," she whispered back. He hushed her.  
  
"Don't talk or move... I'm going to get Dr. Kadowaki."  
  
"No!... not yet." Her whispers were fierce. He didn't move. He took her amazingly smaller hands into his. "Why?"  
  
"Did I help you? Me, Seifer, the bad boy, the bully?" A wry grin made its way to his face. "I could have ask you the same." He was referring to when he came back. "Why did you do it Selph? If you weren't happy, you could have just talked to someone."  
  
"I wished.. it was that easy." She closed her eyes to ward off tears. He kissed her hand tenderly.  
  
"I'll make it that easy." She was more shocked then he was. "Hey it's the least I could do. After all you accepted me back before anyone else did. You treated me like a human the entire time. And I know that was real. That was the real you." He squeezed her hand harder, but only slightly. "It's my turn."  
  
¤  
  
Selphie felt like scratching her stitches hidden by bandages which were themselves hidden by the long sleeves of her sweater. But Seifer had scolded her earlier. Her skin was still pale. Seifer already told her that, so she knew. Seifer told her a lot of things now. She figured it was to keep her thinking about things. She wondered if there was another reason. Gratitude for what she had done for him? Because he felt it was her fault? She didn't know. He didn't tell. Figures. She wish she could just die at times, that Seifer never found her. It was her fault that she had came to his room for answers only to leave behind questions for him.  
  
*I should have not turned your way and become ensnared by your web.*  
  
As Selphie rounded the corner, she felt his ever present aura glowing. She turned to see him walking towards her. She frowned at the sight of his grin. "Aww, come on," he whispered when he came to her. "It's not going to be that bad." She did not want to know what he planned. "Come on." He gently grabbed her arm, elbow to be exact and led her towards the quad.  
  
"What's in there?" her pitiful voice cracked.  
  
"It's a surprise."  
  
Sorry this was late. It's New Year's Woohoo! So this is my present. 


	3. I'm Right Behind You

Red Violets and Forget-me-nots: I'm Right Behind You  
  
*sigh* thanks Restrict for that comment about Selfers... You made my day. (Sorry my e-mail isn't working right so I couldn't e-mail you...) I'm up to one flame, and I think that will be it for a while. *sigh* Oi, yeah, I know Seifer is terribly OOC, but I love him anyways. And yes I realize that I hadn't answered the 'why is Seifer helping Selphie' question and the 'why did Selphie do it', and I probably won't ever get to it, but as long as the story's good, who really cares... (Shut up Restrict I know you're laughing)  
  
¤ At the entrance of the quad, Selphie pulled away from him. "I can walk by myself, thank you," she hissed. He continued to grin at her, unfazed. They walked into the darkened quad. The night only showed stars above them and the moon, but it was not enough light to see what lied in the darkness.  
  
"Surprise!" The lights turned on and the many Garden members popped out at the duo. Sur-surprise. It's not my birthday or anything special... he told!  
  
"You... told them?" Selphie's tone was anything but friendly. The frown turned into a scowl of anger.  
  
"Selph..." Seifer didn't get the chance to explain as Selphie stormed out of the quad.  
  
*But if I knew, I'd run away and not have known you anyway*  
  
The confused looks on everyone's face intensified as Seifer chased after Selphie. As usual she wasn't hard to find. Either that or she was very slow that it was hard not to be able to catch up with her.  
  
*I would run away and be free, I could run away and let go*  
  
She struggled against his hold on her body. "Let me go." He didn't remove his arms even though it created a large scene as a number of people came towards them. He held her until she stopped struggling. It was then Seifer realized, Selphie never cried. From what he heard the closest she ever came to crying was at Trabia after he had ordered missiles to target on Trabia. Was this a real Selphie quality? He mentally smiled as he noticed that he had been creating a real Selphie list and a fake Selphie list for the past two days. It was strange. He felt as if he'd known her for a long time, and he did, after all they were at the same orphanage, though split for a few years in separate Gardens, but they had come back together. It wasn't that he had known her for a long time that allowed him to get closer to her. There was some hidden forces at work. Possibly a dark force.  
  
"Selph, shh," he whispered into her ear. Her hair was tickling his nose. It smelt like a fresh bouquet of flowers, wild flowers. He slowly comprehended what she thought had happened. Piece by piece everything fell together. "It's not what you think, Selphie." He let her go and walked around her in order to look into her face. Not a single tear stained her angelic cherub face. But a frown adorned it. "That frown doesn't suit you. That party is for you, Selph. It's for your hard work at the Garden Festival."  
  
"...Really?"  
  
"Yeah. Hey. A promise is a promise. I said I won't tell. I won't tell." She rammed into his arms until he engulfed her with a hug.  
  
"I've never thanked you. Thank you."  
  
"I never said thank you either... we're even." She nodded slowly. "But don't think that means I'm going to leave you to your little antics, missy. I have my eye on you. You don't mind do you?"  
  
She looked down shaking her head. "Just don't fall in love with me. Kay?" He smiled at her warmly.  
  
Then he took her hand and led her back to the quad. "This is your family."  
  
¤  
  
Selphie was finally ushered out as everyone started to clean up. She stood alone on the balcony. Seifer came out. "Hey, beautiful," he whispered placing his trench coat on her slim shoulders to ward off the cold air.  
  
"Hey, Seifer."  
  
They stood in silence watching the stars. A shooting star slowly made its way across the sky. "Make a wish." Selphie studied the star intently then closed her eyes.  
  
"Done."  
  
"It is." He leaned over and kissed her. As soon as it was over Selphie giggled. It was the first time, she had done so in two days.  
  
"How did you guess my wish?"  
  
"Lucky guess." He smiled at her. She looked down.  
  
"Actually, the truth is I wished that I would be cured."  
  
"Cured?" He tried to look at her face but she constantly turned away, avoiding any contact with his eyes.  
  
"I...um... have juvenile ischemia." He gave up on trying to find her face so he settled with pulling her hands into his.  
  
"Selph, why didn't you tell me? Earlier. I meant, why didn't you tell me earlier?" He pulled the rest of her small body to him.  
  
"I didn't want anybody to know."  
  
"It's all right."  
  
"And then Squall found out and he took me off active duty because he was afraid I would be at too big of a risk, that the exertion would kill my heart."  
  
"You'll get through this, I promise."  
  
"And that hurt. But my heart hurt even more. Sometimes it hurts so much I wanted to kill myself. Just so that the pain would end."  
  
"But that isn't like you."  
  
"Then Rinoa and Quistis go flaunting around after visiting the hospital that they were glad that they were too YOUNG to get heart attacks."  
  
"Yeah, well, what do they know?" Selphie nearly laughed as she wiggled in Seifer's arms as he tickled her.  
  
"What was that for?" She glared at him, oddly so, her being nearly a foot shorter then him. "I'm here being serious and you're tickling me."  
  
"That's the point," he whispered into her hair. "You smell nice."  
  
"Thank you, but that's not the point!" She stepped on his foot.  
  
"Ow." He said that with so little emotion that Selphie knew it was fake. He at least let her go. She hugged him around the waist after a moment, feeling empty without him being near her. It felt different from receiving but just as comforting.  
  
*Turning back, I want to turn back, I can only look at time pass me, The times you offered me your love, It wasn't that easy to leave you my heart.*  
  
"I don't want to die. Not yet." He pulled her closer.  
  
"You're gonna pull through this. And I'm gonna be right behind you."  
  
I don't think this is gonna be angst anymore... or maybe it is... sigh the definition of angst is a profound feeling of generalized anxiety or dread. I guess it fits still right? Oh yeah, ischemia is a heart condition, where arteries are clogged in one way or another, not neccesarily by cholesterol. It was a suggestion so I used it. 


	4. To Be Happy

Red Violets and Forget-me-nots: To Be Happy  
  
It is so hard to write an angst story and a comedy story at the same time. I really don't suggest it.  
  
And yes people, there is a way to 'rid' ischemia, a condition of the heart when oxygen is deprived to the heart. Ishemia more specifically is a result of angina pectoris, clogged arteries due to cholesterol or heart attacks, which are generally due to clogged arteries and angina. So Selphie has one of these... I think I'll choose angina. Angina, constricted arteries, is cured by balloon angioplasty when a deflated balloon is inflated within the clogged artery. Such technicalities. I should have stuck with cancer or something. Sigh, is it too late to change?  
  
*But if I knew what you could do I'd run away, and forget that you Could twist my pain to pleasure And my pleasure to rain The tears on my face You can't become a memory to erase*  
  
He could get use to waking up to the warmth of her body as she curled up against his chest. He played with the soft tendrils of her hair until she woke up. She cutely yawned and stretched before settling back on his chest. "Morning," she whispered to his heart.  
  
"Morning sunshine," he whispered back. He brushed her hair gently with his fingers. They lay like that for a while. Her listening to his heart, him playing with her hair. Harsh reality swept its way in when a loud knock interrupted their moment of piece.  
  
"Hey Seifer!" a voice yelled through the door. It was Zell. "Squall wants to see you! Pronto!" Seifer groaned emitting a small giggle from Selphie. He pulled away with much difficulty. When he finally got off the bed, he leaned back to kiss her. His shirt landed on his head when Selphie dropped it.  
  
"You better go, before Squall gets mad!" Selphie warned. Seifer grinned as he pulled his shirt and shoes on. He stole another kiss before grabbing his trench coat and leaving. He nearly hummed a nonexistent song and skipped down the hallway. He hadn't been so happy in... a long time.  
  
Inside his room Selphie started crying. He didn't know that she cried all the time. Just not in front of anyone. For the past months she used to cry for no reason, but not today. She cried for one reason, and it was in the form of Seifer. He never promised that he wouldn't fall in love with her. He had just smiled. She should have made him promise. She didn't and now she paid for it two-fold, as she sat by her lonesome on his bed.  
  
* And since that day I fell in love And when you became the one that I covet I feel the need to run You loved me too easily*  
  
¤  
  
Squall looked up to hear a soft knock on his door. He guessed it was anyone but Seifer and to his surprise, Seifer entered. All suspicions were confirmed. "Sit down," he said emotionlessly. He winced in anticipation of some sort of retort. Silence followed as Seifer took a seat. "I wanted to talk to you about... Selphie." Seifer's back visibly stiffened. "Is she going to be a problem?" Seifer cradled his head in his hands. "So she is. You've forgotten your mission already?" He stood up. "Generally I would comment about your incapabilities and incompetence, but..." Seifer looked up and followed the commander with his eyes as he went to a large file cabinet. "Well, first, I must truly confirm that you and Selphie are... having a relationship currently. Am I correct?"  
  
"Whoa, are you asking if I 'slept' with her?" Squall nearly choked.  
  
"No, I know that it seems you care too much for her to have her exert so much energy in her condition."  
  
"On, well, in terms of dating, we haven't done that either."  
  
"But she's evidently not in her room."  
  
"Because she is in my room."  
  
"I could imagine." He took a file out of the cabinet. "That is why I am reassigning you to Esthar."  
  
"Wait a minute," Seifer jumped up. "You're reassigning me because of Selphie?"  
  
"Yes." Seifer held back the urge to kill Squall in that moment, "but it's not what you think."  
  
"The hell it is."  
  
"Seifer, she is my friend. If you don't kill me, she would. Not that there is a need for such brashness. I'm reassigning you to Esthar for eight weeks for a specific reason."  
  
"Eight weeks!"  
  
"Calm down. I still have to explain the mission." Seifer sat down. Squall followed suite on his side of the desk "As you know, Esthar is a prominent medical city. It is where we took Rinoa, it will now be where you take Selphie. There is a doctor there, one doctor Aredis Dasio. She has agreed to take Selphie's case, but will be unable to stay the duration of the treatments. She assured me it is quite painless, comforting to be exact. It will last for an hour, everyday for seven weeks. An extra week is for recovery. Since Dr. Dasio will be unable to stay with Selphie, I've sent you. So do you accept this mission?"  
  
"Do you have to ask?"  
  
"Not really. The train leaves at 1400 hours at Balamb tomorrow. Take care of her Seifer."  
  
"That won't be a problem."  
  
¤  
  
Seifer half ran, half skipped for joy as he went back to his room. He came in. "Selphie!" he nearly yelled coming in. The bed was empty. So was the bathroom, but a single note was posted on his mirror. Sorry.  
  
All became a blur as Seifer dashed out of his room, the note flying in the air. Thoughts rushed into his head all at once, it was hard to decipher any of it. Except one. Selphie.  
  
He was in her room in a flash, but he was faster going to the infirmary.  
  
"DR. KADOW.." The plump old doctor stood up.  
  
"Seifer no need to..." She trailed off as she turned to see what Seifer had. "Hurry, here!" She pushed a door opened and ushered Seifer in immediately. "She pulled her stitches."  
  
"I can tell."  
  
"Get some of the blood that I took from you three days ago! (AN: this is why I like Selfers better then Selvines because during a blood donation they can't kill each other Seifer: O Selphie: A Irvine: B Okay maybe Selphie would 'kill' Seifer but he's a toughie, he don't bleed ie: only Squall's blood was apparent in the opening video) It's in the freezer there!" Seifer grabbed several bags. Dr Kadowaki took them and nearly kicked Seifer out. "Stay here."  
  
"No."  
  
"If you want me to help her, stay here." She left no room for arguments closing the door on his face. He started pacing. ^Selphie^ He could only imagine the strain of simply yawning and stretching on Selphie's heart. Even worse was the pain in her chest as her heart was overloaded. If yawning did that, how much would walking and cutting do? He did not want to think of it. He just wanted her to be happy with herself.  
  
¤  
  
Selphie regained consciousness a few hours after coming in. She first saw a blurry figure with blond hair. Like an angel. Her sight cleared up as did Seifer's face. "Selph," he whispered tracing her jawline.  
  
"I'm sorry," she choked."  
  
"Don't be." He took her hand. "Guess what?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You're gonna be cured."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah we're going to Esthar to get you cured."  
  
"Finally."  
  
"Yeah." ^Thank Hyne^  
  
TBC 


	5. Slide

Red Violets and Forget-me-nots: Slide  
  
Song is by Bryan Adams, Please Forgive Me I have decided the outcome of this story. It will only be two more chapters with an epilogue. These will hopefully be posted every two days for a week, if my arm doesn't flare up.  
  
Esthar. The city of technology. A beacon of hope. A place of ingenuity. A renewal of dreams. Selphie softly squeezed Seifer's hand as the train came to a stop. He knew she was a bit depressed due to the fact she wasn't strong enough to stand up from the wheelchair she was confined to through the duration of the trip to see the scenery. Though most of it was underwater. Seifer had tried to help her but she decided that it wasn't necessary. Besides, she had him for company.  
  
It wasn't long to them, though a train stop at Fisherman's horizon complicated the matters (note there is no train system going to Esthar in the game). They finally arrived at Esthar. "We have to meet Dr. Dasio at a lab near Dr. Odine's," Seifer remarked.  
  
"Okay," replied Selphie. Within minutes, on the lifts, they came to a lab separate but part of Dr. Odine's. A woman, about her mid-forties, told them to come in.  
  
"Hello Selphie, I'm Doctor Dasio," she greeted. She turned to Seifer. "You must be Seifer. Nice to meet you. I hope you don't mind if I take Selphie to my office for a preliminary check-up."  
  
"Um, sure," Seifer mumbled. The thought of being separated from Selphie ever for a second caused uneasiness in the young man. He gave her a soft kiss on the cheek. As Dr. Dasio wheeled her away.  
  
He started pacing again.  
  
¤  
  
It was nearly three hours since Selphie had gone to the doctor's office. He was still pacing. Finally, the little ball of energy appeared bouncing down the hallway. "Seifer!" she yelled in glee. "Guess what?"  
  
"You're walking," he said matter-of-factly.  
  
"Yup!" Dr. Dasio came out of her office.  
  
"She'll be fine," she said addressing Seifer. "She's still young. Her heart is young. It will take a lot to finish up that heart. I'd advise her to keep some light exercise and at least once a week some heavy exercise for an hour or more. Just to keep her heart healthy, but if she has difficulty breathing lie her down and elevate her head slightly so her passageway is as opened as it can be. If this is persistent, we might have to operate. She will start EECP treatment tomorrow morning at nine. I will supervise the first to show you what to do, but afterwards, she's all in your hands."  
  
"Thank you doctor," he said slightly exasperated. He took Selphie's hand and together they left."  
  
"Let's go visit Laguna!" Knowing better then to say no, he nodded and mentally kicked himself. He's always heard of Selphie's little crush. He only hoped she still didn't have that crush. After all, she had him, now. He sighed, knowing bravado when he saw it. "On second thought... let's go to the hotel and call room service!" Suddenly he was wishing that they went to visit Laguna instead.  
  
¤  
  
*But since the day I met you Every wrong became a right Every night into a new day It should not be this way Why does it feel so good (I know it shouldn't)*  
  
A few hours later when they were both thoroughly stuffed with various foods, they settled down on the bed. "I am stuffed," Selphie groaned. Seifer leaned over to kiss her. She giggled and pushed him off. "I think the cake is going to my hips." He leaned down and kissed her hip. She giggled again. "That tickled. You're silly."  
  
"You are," he replied, "and you're beautiful." He kissed her cheek. "You have very soft skin." He cuddled in her hair. "You smell good."  
  
"Why... aren't you full of compliments today?"  
  
"Oh, I'm just buttering you up."  
  
"Really and what do I need buttering up for?"  
  
"You already know."  
  
"Hmm... yeah. You want to get in my pants."  
  
"Yeah well, I have the advantage. You need heavy exercise, you're a sucker for my compliments and..." He looked at the dress on her small frame, "you're not wearing pants... or panties for that matter." She giggled.  
  
"Guess you win." She kissed him as he took her hand.  
  
"I won a long time ago.  
  
¤  
  
The treatments became boring and so routine. Seifer would hook her up to the machine and let it do its job and talk to Selphie for the duration of the treatment. It became so ordinary in their lives.  
  
After the treatments they usually went to get breakfast, but after the third week it became too routine. "Could we go visit Laguna now?" Selphie pleaded. Seifer eager for a change hastily agreed.  
  
"Yeah come on," he said leading her onto a lift. After getting off they walked silently for a few minutes when they came up to the Presidential Palace. They went in with the same air of silence until they met up with the aide guarding a door.  
  
"Ah, Ms. Tilmitt!" the aide greeted quickly. "Mr. Almasy. The president has been expecting you!" He quickly pushed them towards the tunnel to Laguna's office. Selphie glanced humorously at Seifer who smiled warmly. He took her hand and led her through the tunnel. They met up with Kiros and Ward.  
  
"Hey!" Kiros said enthusiastically.  
  
"Hi!" Ward followed suite. They opened the door and let the couple go in before coming after. Laguna looked up a little startled, but decided not to chastise his old friends for not knocking when he saw why they didn't.  
  
"Selphie, Seifer!" he practically yelled when he saw them. Kiros dragged Ward out leaving the trio some privacy. Some, for as soon as the door closed, ears were pressed. "Squall told me you two were here. But mind you, I had to coax the reason out of him. He is quite stubborn. Just like his mother. Well, the reason why I had expected you two to visit was... actually there is no reason, I just wanted to talk to you two."  
  
"Um... hi," Selphie said meekly. Laguna looked at her for a moment as if she were out of her mind then slowly realized he hadn't left a moment for greetings.  
  
"Oh, sorry." Seifer just shook his head as if to say don't worry about it and glanced at Laguna to continue. "Ah, yes, well what I was getting to was why you both are here. Dr. Dasio is a fine doctor and so far all her patients have become healthy and lived long lives. Only one had to go through an operation, out he had pulled through easily. So I have high hopes for you Selphie." He cleared some of the papers on his desk. "Well since you both are here, I might do well to invite you to the ball we are having tonight."  
  
"Ooh, a dance, Seifie can we?" Selphie squealed turning to her lover. He smiled.  
  
"Of course, precious," he purred.  
  
"Then it is settled then?" Laguna asked.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Good. By the way Squall and your friends will be coming too. To represent SeeD."  
  
"Really!" Selphie jumped out of her seat. Seifer pulled her down.  
  
"Don't get too excited Selph," he warned.  
  
"You can let it slide once."  
  
^You can let it slide Like a knife through butter And no one will have to know Just let it slide It won't be hidden away But no one will have to know If you let it slide^  
  
¤  
  
The lights shone bright, dangling from large chandeliers. The women were in beautiful gowns and the men in expensive suits. And just about all the guests were there. The SeeD representatives were still missing. Except two. They were on the dance floor like an elegant and classic couple. Seifer was all spiffy in his suit, whereas Selphie, who was no longer a SeeD much to her demise wore a strapless yellow dress and cuddled warmly in Seifer's arms. Their thoughts drowned in the music.  
  
*It still feels like our first night together Feels like the first kiss It's getting better baby No one can better this Still holding on You're still the one First time our eyes met Same feeling I get Only feels much stronger I wanna love you longer Do you still turn the fire on?* They danced. *So if you're feeling lonely, don't You're the only one I'll ever want I only want to make it go So if I love you a little more than I should ...* They kissed and danced. *Please forgive me, I know not what I do  
  
Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you  
  
Don't deny me, this pain I'm going through  
  
Please forgive me, if I need you like I do  
  
Please believe me, every word I say is true  
  
Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you* Seifer gathered her closer, the kiss becoming deeper, more desperate. *Still feels like our best times are together  
  
Feels like the first touch  
  
Still getting closer baby  
  
Can't get closer enough  
  
Still holding on  
  
You're still number one  
  
I remember the smell of your skin  
  
I remember everything  
  
I remember all the moves  
  
I remember you yeah  
  
I remember the nights, you know I still do* They pulled away.  
*So if you're feeling lonely, don't  
  
You're the only one I'll ever want  
  
I only want to make it go  
  
So if I love you a little more than I should ...  
  
Please forgive me, I know not what I do  
  
Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you  
  
Don't deny me, this pain I'm going through  
  
Please forgive me, if I need you like I do  
  
Please believe me, every word I say is true  
  
Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you* He took her hand and took out something from his pocket, placing it over her wrists. Her bracelets. An audible gasp escaped Selphie's lips. *The one thing I'm sure of  
  
Is the way we make love  
  
The one thing I depend on  
  
Is for us to stay strong  
  
With every word and every breath I'm praying  
  
That's why I'm saying* Squall, Irvine, Zell, Rinoa and Quistis barely came up to them when Selphie stiffened in Seifer's arms. *Please forgive me, I know not what I do  
  
Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you  
  
Don't deny me, this pain I'm going through  
  
Please forgive me, if I need you like I do  
  
Babe believe it, every word I say is true  
  
Please forgive me, if I can't stop loving you  
  
No, believe, I don't know what I doPlease forgive me, I can't stop loving you* Seifer lowered her to the ground before her body could slide from his grip. "Selphie..."  
*I can't stop ... loving you ...* TBC Last Chapter: The Vertical Ray of the Sun; The Epilogue will follow. 


	6. The Vertical Ray of the Sun

Red Violets and Forget-me-nots: The Vertical Ray of the Sun  
  
Dr. Dasio rushed into the trauma room. Squall was trying to call Cid and Edea while Zell shouted random numbers he recalled as phone numbers. Irvine, Rinoa and Quistis tried to console with Seifer who was obviously not there. His hands were pressed onto the glass that separated him from his lover as if he could feel her and save the last essence of her life. Dasio along with other nurses lifted Selphie's limp body onto a gurney. A nurse wheeled her out to the operating room. Dr. Dasio came up to Seifer. "Don't worry, Seifer," she whispered placing a sheet of paper in his hands. As the doctor walked away Seifer unfolded the paper carefully, a dried violet petal remained there, crushed as was a forget-me-not. In bright blue ink, words were neatly composed.  
  
Though it may seem life is unfair And it may appear that fate doesn't care The sun will keep shining Even after your crying It will be there and everywhere After all has healed, down to the last tear The vertical ray of the sun Will keep glowing long aft my life is done I won't be there but I'll be near Listen to the wind and you will hear I spread my love over the sea Afloat to you it will be Just remember you are on my mind Wherever I'll be, our love won't be hard to find I'll be everywhere with the radiant sunlight Although my life is done, took flight I will be your guardian angel, protector You've watched over me for so long, as it were It's my turn now, don't worry now You have my surest vow The vertical ray of the sun, will never be gone Even aft my life is done, the ever strong bond That the wind can't blow away, the rain won't drenched That the wind can't sway, therefore our hearts aren't wrenched We fight through it all, and through the storm We kept going, we saw, together I felt so safe and warm Nothing will break us, not even the end Strength is a must, nothing can bend I love you, with all my heart All the little things you do, I loved you from the start Remember, my love, that the vertical ray of the sun Will shine long and long aft my is done  
  
Never before had he cried. Never before had he the reason. A soothing voice whispered in his ear, "Don't give up on her, now, Seifer." He looked up and saw Edea's kind face  
  
"I will never," he replied. He looked around at the faces of the others. "We won't." They nodded.  
  
Quistis looked at her watch. It was nearly lunch time.  
  
¤ two hours later  
  
"Seifer," Dr. Dasio said as she came out. She whispered something in his ear. He solemnly nodded. The others came up to him as the doctor left.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"Seifer..."  
  
"Is she okay?"  
  
"What did the doctor say?"  
  
"Did she make it?"  
  
"Can we see her?" Seifer held up his hand for silence.  
  
"She... she didn't make it. The operation went haywire, her heart wasn't strong enough. They can't get a donor heart. She only has a few hours left."  
  
¤  
  
Seifer sat alone beside the hospital bed that Selphie lied on. She was unconscious and wasn't likely to regain consciousness. The others were quietly talking, making funeral arrangements, complete with the SeeD honorific ceremony. Irvine and Rinoa came in. "Seifer," Rinoa said as she wrapped her arms comfortingly around his neck. Irvine clasped his shoulder in a gesture of brotherly love and empathy as he looked at the ailing body of his former girlfriend.  
  
"She couldn't have had a better man in her life," he stated.  
  
"Yeah," Rinoa agreed. She squeezed him a little harder. The machine monitoring her heart started beeping harder. The trio looked up. Selphie gasped as she slowly became aware of her surroundings. Her chest hurt excruciatingly.  
  
"Selphie," Seifer said as he jumped to her side. Rinoa called the others in. Dr. Dasio pushed her way through.  
  
"Amazing," she whispered. She checked Selphie's status and shook her head. "You just regain consciousness, but that is all." The others held back their silent twinges. The doctor left leaving all of them for the last time.  
  
¤  
  
I looked into her eyes. My heart still needed to learn how to beat again. It had stopped when I heard the news. Her beautiful eyes looked back at me. Her face was as soft as an angel. Through it all, she never shed a tear, for I cried for her. Hours went by as I watched her. We've been through it all together. She came beside me, took every step with me and helped me when I fell. She saw the light in my darkness. No... she was the light in my darkness. I don't deserve to know her. I don't deserve to be loved by her. I don't deserve... her. What did I do to deserve her? Her heart beat grows stronger. I can feel it. She doesn't want me to be sad. But I can't help it, now that I will lose her. A single tear falls down her cheek. I'm sorry...I'm sorry. Hours continue to pass. I feel her slipping away. The stars in her eyes tell me the story.  
  
¤  
  
A year now passed since she left. I know I might never see her again. But I deserve not to. While people like me don't always go to Heaven, I know she will. Because angels always go to Heaven. 


	7. Epilogue

Epilogue: In Time  
  
A year had passed. Every month, on the day of Selphie's death, Seifer visits her grave. Their first anniversary, the day she came into his room, that one time, was dear in his heart and he plans on staying with her all day, rain or shine. He still loves her, with no fear that he is cursed to never forget her, to never stop loving her. He keeps one of her bracelets with him at all times. The rest were with her, so that they would always be connected. He wasn't doomed to never fall in love again, it would just take time.  
  
The others support their long time friend. Squall and Rinoa had asked him to be their best man and supported him emotionally with their friendship. Irvine and Quistis became his psychologists, keeping him mentally stable by shining the light in the dark spots for him. Both couples, however, know they do not match Zell's unusual friendship to his former enemy. Zell and Seifer were often seen together, checking out the local ladies or talking about their latest mission or anything else. They both maintain a pact that states neither would marry until they both could together. Their brotherly bond held them together. So close they had become that Seifer, who had never let anyone accompany on his visits to Selphie, on the very first anniversary celebrated created the precedent to what was going to be...  
  
¤  
  
Seifer casually glided down the corridor to the parking lot. Zell was already there.  
  
"Hello, Seifer,"he said.  
  
"Hey, Zell," Seifer replied.  
  
"Ready to go." Seifer took a deep breath.  
  
"As ready as I'll ever be."  
  
"Okay." They both went into the car as Zell turned the key in the ignition. "We could wait a while."  
  
"No. I'll never get over losing her. I loved her, I still do, but one can't continue to mope in the past for so long." Zell solemnly nodded and drove out.  
  
"It is better to love and forget then to never love at all, right?"  
  
"Yeah, but I rather remember. And I will." He placed her hand on his shoulder in the ever-comforting manner, he had been receiving for a year. "Thank you, for everything."  
  
"That's what friends are for. To help you move on, Seifer." They arrived at the cemetery, but didn't move to leave the car for a moment.  
  
"Let's go," Seifer said, breaking the silence. The duo left the vehicle and walked over to the well-memorized patch of land that covered their beloved Selphie. The flowers had been changed, the grass freshly mowed. It was a beautiful day. "It's been a year already, Zell. Since I first found out her secret." Zell nodded knowingly. He placed his hand on Seifer's shoulder yet again.  
  
"Ready to move on?" The wind started to pick up. The newly cut grass flowed like a green river. The next sounds though, told Seifer, she was still with him.  
  
The wind rustled in their ears. "Only in time," it whispered. One could almost hear Selphie's twinkling voice. Seifer shuddered as the wind crawled down his back, the way Selphie's slender fingers use to. Both he and Zell remained in their silent states, a comforting hand on shoulder, waiting for life to throw the next challenge.  
  
The End  
Thanks goes to all the reviewers (all the flamers too). Well, there is my first angst turned dramatic romance, I think I didn't do too bad, but I won't be doing another for a while. In the meantime, I'll probably start on a *gasp* Selvine, just fer the hay of it. 


	8. I'm Right Beside You

Red Violets and Forget-Me-Nots: I'm Right Beside You  
  
AN: I read over the original piece and I cried, mostly because I didn't like it, but also because I didn't like it (the fact that Selphie died, that is and the juvenile ischemia and stuff...). So I decided to change the storyline, so everything after the epilogue will be the second storyline, but the first two original chapters are the beginning chapters to this story save one single change which is addressed below as a change in the last part of chapter two. Confused? Don't be. Just r&r.  
  
- Thoughts -  
  
*Lyrics*  
  
~  
  
Selphie felt like scratching her stitches hidden by bandages which were themselves hidden by the long sleeves of her sweater. But Seifer had scolded her earlier. Her skin was still pale. Seifer already told her that, so she knew. Seifer told her a lot of things now. She figured it was to keep her thinking about things. She wondered if there was another reason. Gratitude for what she had done for him? Because he felt it was his fault? She didn't know. He didn't tell. Figures. She wished she could just die at times, that Seifer never found her. It was her fault that she had come to his room for answers only to leave behind questions for him.  
  
*I should have not turned your way and become ensnared by your web. *  
  
As Selphie rounded the corner, she felt his ever-present aura glowing. She turned to see him walking towards her. She frowned at the sight of his grin. "Aww, come on," he whispered when he came to her. "It's not going to be that bad." She did not want to know what he planned. "Come on." He gently grabbed her arm, elbow to be exact and led her towards the parking lot.  
  
"What's in there?" her pitiful voice cracked.  
  
"It's a surprise."  
  
~  
  
- Some surprise. -  
  
It was a car... a simple two-person transport car. Selphie scowled. "You got me all worked up for a car?!" Seifer shrugged. She was angry and angry was better than being mopy and sorry for herself ... not that she couldn't be mopy and sorry for herself if she wanted to.  
  
"You don't even know what I spent a long time planning for us to do with this car," he whined. It would have been funny to hear him whine, but his audience was not very cooperative.  
  
"If it involves destroying it, okay, if it involves anything else, namely your libido, Hyne no!" Seifer rolled his eyes.  
  
"I think I deserve a little more credit in that department. Just get in." He kept himself from shoving her in as she slowly pulled herself up in to the passenger seat. Being the gentleman he was ... Seifer closed her door before going to the driver's side. Selphie was pouting as he got in.  
  
- I still don't get this guy. -  
  
~  
  
After five minutes of sulking, Selphie managed to ask Seifer what he was planning. "What are we doing?"  
  
"I'm driving and you're brooding," he replied nonchalantly, being more attentive of the road than her, but could be caught glancing out of the corner of his eye to see if she would react as he hoped she would.  
  
Selphie was boiling mad. "I can see that..." she hissed.  
  
"Well, you asked what..."  
  
"I know what I asked and you know what I meant!" She suddenly jumped up when a bump on the road did its job on the car as well as take her mind off of Seifer's antic. "Where are we?"  
  
"Um... the fire cavern..." he replied meekly, not sure if he wanted to risk another angry reaction from his small company at the moment.  
  
"Whatever..." Seifer held back a chuckle of surprise. Never had he seen Selphie's resemblance to Squall, but then again, he never really paid any attention to the seemingly happy messenger girl. They were depressed in their own ways, his came as a result of his failure of being a good friend. Her friend. Something about that fact made him realize... things were going to change for the both of them.  
  
"We're going to beat the crap out of some monsters," he explained. "The fire cavern is also a good place to sweat out some bad toxins." He turned to look at Selphie who wore a face of complete annoyance.  
  
"..." - Yup, definitely the next Squall. - He frowned. - That's not always a good thing... Squall is going to get a reality check. -  
  
~  
  
He didn't necessarily hate being the head of SeeD. It just meant that he had to talk a little more and make decisions. No one told him it was going to be so hard. No one told him he would have to show that he cared.  
  
Turning around, Squall glanced at Seifer, before sinking into his chair. Seifer waited patiently. Finally Squall said something. "Why don't you ask the headmaster?" A grin grew on Seifer's face. More like a smirk.  
  
"You don't believe me," he replied. Squall sat up looking a little more than a bit uncomfortable.  
  
"I do too." The suppressed chuckle escaped Seifer's lips.  
  
"Uh-huh. You wanna know what I think?"  
  
"If it makes you go away, why not?"  
  
"Can't promise that, but I think that you're afraid of the truth." Squall tried to glare but ended up sighing. - Finally, a sigh of defeat. -  
  
"...Why tell me?"  
  
"You're her friend, and... you're probably the only one I can trust to keep silent about this matter. She really doesn't want anyone else to know."  
  
"Anyone else?"  
  
"Dr. Kadowaki knows, of course, but no one else. Until now." Squall stood up.  
  
"And you think that what you're about to do is going to help?"  
  
"I hope so." Silence reigned again as both men engaged in a staring contest.  
  
Finally, Squall blinked and turned away. "Fine." He searched the drawers of his desk and pulled out what looked like a date book. Flipping through he stopped on a page, glanced it over, ripped it out and held it out to Seifer  
  
Seifer took it. "What is this?" he asked looking it over.  
  
"That's the name and location of a guy in Balamb. He can get you everything you need." He paused. "Do you know how long this is going to take?"  
  
"You can't rush this kind of thing."  
  
"Very well, good luck... and do take care." Seifer got up and gave a nod of thanks and left. Squall turned back to the scenery that was the Balamb mountain range. - I failed. Forgive me. Forgive me, all...-  
  
~  
  
- I'm right beside you... Selphie. -  
  
TBC 


End file.
